Set
your own standards of your own conduct and stick to them. Such standards must
be set after keenly observing the people with impeccable character who have
never been found to have caused any harm to anybody. Such people are found to
possess many of the following qualities in abundance.
Courage; truthfulness; utmost humility and simplicity;
selflessness; compassion; nonviolence of thoughts, conduct, and words;
patience; absence of pretentiousness; absence of hatred, anger, jealousy, pride, enmity
and greed; being ashamed of one’s mistakes and being always eager to rectify
them with urgency; ability to make sacrifices and undergo penance for reducing
the suffering of those who are in pain; not being interested and inclined to
find faults with others; not considering oneself to be more important than
others; understanding the value of time and not wasting time in useless,
frivolous and meaningless efforts and activities; being always eager to learn;
and, contemplative, but not getting involved in trivial intellectual exercises
for intellectual enjoyment etc..
The list of given above is neither small, nor is it
exhaustive. Further, it is not easy to fully understand what it means to
possess any of the above referred qualities. Entering a thick forest alone,
full with animals who are instinctively ready to run away to save their lives,
with a search light in left hand and a loaded gun in the right is not
‘courage’. If the one who enters the forest as aforesaid not knowing how to
fire a gun; the act would still not become a courageous act; maybe, it would,
then, become, at best, a foolish act.
One may have to think about each quality, learn about them from
the great scriptures or books containing precious knowledge about life and
carefully listen to discourses of saintly people, even making it a practice to
approach them whenever needed to resolve one’s doubts. The meaning of a quality
may still not become known, unless, one tries to include the chosen quality in
his day to day conduct, and, observe oneself as to whether any element of his
conduct, knowingly or unknowingly, failed to comply with the demands of the
quality one is trying to inculcate in himself. One will have to continue for a
long period of time in different circumstances sticking to the demands of that
quality, rectifying any errors in the theoretical concept and practice. If one
sincerely goes about proceeding as above he would be astonished to find how
much he has to change himself and how difficult is it implement each change.
The process of setting a standard of conduct for oneself,
howsoever ordinary it may be, can be considered to have been initiated, only if
one finds that his actual conduct moves concurrent with introspection,
self-observation of his weaknesses and multiplicity, hugeness and obstinacy of
stumbling blocks that prevent him to change. It will, undoubtedly, be a state
of helplessness, which may prompt anybody to give up, unless a faith takes
charge of one’s inner self to help one out of the turmoil he has pushed himself
into. If this happens one may believe that the process of setting a standard of
his conduct has really been initiated in the right direction. Once this
happens, there has to be no looking back. One must gradually and patiently
proceed to realize and assimilate in himself one quality after another. There
shall be numerous failures; maybe, many in a day’s time; but, they should never
become a reason for withdrawal from the chosen path, but for rectifying the
errors of the past and then, making a fresh beginning again.
Perhaps, it is not easy to name a person ever lived in the
past or living today who has acquired all the qualities given above with
perfection in modern times. But, there are many who can be distinguished from
others by virtue of having acquired a few of such qualities to a reasonable
extent. Such people do not waste their lives in unsuccessfully trying to meet
the ever changing standards set by others to get their selfish needs satisfied.
The one who sets his own standards of conduct according to
the qualities listed above and tries to achieve them and stick to them
experiences his personal growth like a free man. The one who has the ability and
determination to change and grow according to his will is useful for himself
and for the others. A slave serves only his master, where his master being
dependent on his slaves is also a slave.
PROMOD KUMAR SHARMA
[The writer of this blog is also the author of “Mahatma A
Scientist of the Intuitively Obvious” and “In Search of Our Wonderful Words”.]
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