When we meet a stranger, we try to know more about him. Some
of us try to know him only by observing him, many others make some enquiries to
know him more. At some point, after a few interactions, he no longer remains a
stranger. Gradually, our inquisitiveness about him drops to a very low level,
unless something very strange about him is revealed. We can never claim that we
know someone full well.
We are always ready to review our understanding of the others
whenever anything unusual or unexpected about him becomes known to us. Our
relationship with others never remains uniform; it fluctuates with respect to a
reference line, and the reference line is ‘our expectations’ formed on the
basis of our understanding about him. In general, we do not shift the reference line of our expectation, or if
we shift it, we shift it only slightly.
What about the reference line of expectations, we draw to
measure our own behaviour towards others and also ourselves? We do not want to
hurt ourselves; hence, we allow, very leniently, the reference line to fluctuate
with our behaviour.
There are many ways to be happy with oneself, but two are
most prominent. The first, not to allow our own behaviour to fluctuate from the
reference line of expectations. And, the second, to permit the reference line
float with our behaviour. If we opt for the former, we can change our
surroundings. Then, if we know and internalize how to draw the right reference
line, we enjoy the bliss of creativity and become well settled in happiness.
The way that prompts us to leniently allow changing the reference
line, is the way of rolling stones, where the nature of the stone characterized
by the absence of ‘life’ is more important than the act of rolling. No one can
say that a stone can ‘experience’ the happiness out of its act of rolling.
The essence of happiness is in the ability to create, that is, the ability
to bring about the right change.
PROMOD KUMAR SHARMA
[The writer of this blog is also the author of “Mahatma A
Scientist of the Intuitively Obvious” and “In Search of Our Wonderful Words”.]
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